A Home
by Kyouryoku Senshi
Summary: Missing Scene from My Struggle II. Scully's thoughts upon entering Mulder's defaced home.
Title: A Home

Author: KS

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: SS10, IWTB

Summary: Missing scene for My Struggle II. Scully's thoughts upon arriving at Mulder's defaced home.

Once Scully finished up reporting the disturbance at Mulder's home and his disappearance to Skinner, she waited until Tad finally made his way to leave. But not before he felt the need to make more indignant remarks. "You used to live here too, right, Dana?"

She didn't dignify him with a response as he already knew far more about her and Mulder than she was comfortable with. She could only imagine he was recalling the car ride when she and Mulder exchanged that for better or for worse lingo that was heavily loaded.

She continued to look around the house. "You still love him, don't you?"

Annoyed, she briefly turned back towards him. "Excuse me."

"That's why you follow him around...why you haven't let go."

She felt slightly embarrassed at the memory of Tad conveniently showing up when she and Mulder were in the middle of a disagreement, when she was about to leave before bursting into an unexplainable bout of tears at the rejection she felt for Mulder once again leaving her out of the meeting. She couldn't help but feel that way now...Mulder having set up another meeting about the same subject without her, after not showing up to work. All because he thought she would make another stupid diagnosis on him. Now he wasn't returning her calls.

"We have a child together...you don't exactly erase history that easily, Mr. O'Malley."

This admittedly startled him more than the "for better or worse stuff". So not only were they clearly married, they had a kid together. He had never suddenly felt so rejected. He sighed. "Well, let me know when you find him."

Scully was thankful he finally left. She knew she shouldn't be tampering with evidence, but she couldn't help but wonder around the home they once shared, disheartened at how trashed the place was. She stopped upon the crackling of glass beneath her foot. She looked down at the shattered glass of a photo frame. She gingerly bent down and picked up the now broken frame as a photo fell out in the process. She took in a deep breath as she turned the photo around. She swallowed a lump that made it's way into her throat. It was a photo of her and Mulder from about 7-8 years ago. It was taken shortly after his exoneration and they had shared a happy moment between one another on their trip to the Bahamas, after they had exchanged those "for better or worse" lines for the first time. Her hair was longer and they had slightly more youthful appearances. She didn't recall seeing this photo in all the times she had come by since their breakup. Did he have it hiding? Did he just set it out once they mutually decided to open their hearts and try again? Pressed for time, she pocketed the photo and continued her way into the kitchen. The kitchen table was broken in half, giving more evidence of a struggle that took place. She bent down examining more remnants. Another small overturned photo caught her eye. This was something she had not prepared for and no time to prepare for. It was the same baby photo of William that she often looked at in her desk. Mulder had this same image? As she held the small photo between her fingertips she imagined Mulder, sitting at this now broken table, thinking of their son much as she always did. She felt a pain in her heart when she recalled one of their recent conversations. "Do you ever think about William?"

"Yes, of course I do. But I feel like I've had to put that behind me."

She had accused him of not caring or thinking about their son as much as she was. In a way, she felt resentful that she seemed to be the only one sharing the guilt over their son...no matter how much she tried to remind herself that Mulder wasn't there to share in her decision to give him up for adoption. She didn't expect Mulder to have the same feelings she did. He barely knew he was a father before that opportunity was taken away. Which was, her fault. She had an opportunity to bond with him for far longer, which made the feelings that much stronger and more painful. That day, she felt Mulder said those words to ease her guilt. She was wrong. He really did think of William. Why didn't he ever talk about it? Then it dawned on her. Mulder had been so focused on helping her grieve that he kept his feelings buried and guarded as to not guilt her further. No wonder he was depressed. They both were.

She felt a lone tear make it's way down her face. She quickly stood up as she heard the sirens in the background and pocketed this photo as well. Taking another look at this home they once shared, she felt a sense of longing and sense of regret for leaving. What she wouldn't give to have that feeling of someplace to come home to again. She hoped they could share that familiar comfort once again. She winced at the sight of the place, personally offended that someone had done this to the home they once shared. One thought remained in her mind. She had to find Mulder before it was too late.

END

A/n: I thought there needed to be a missing scene here when Scully finds Mulder's place like this since this episode was so rushed. Hope you enjoyed.


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